The Other Side of Sadness: What the New Science of Bereavement Tells Us About Life After Loss |  | Author: George A. Bonanno Ph.D.
Publisher: Basic Books
Category: Book
List Price: $25.95
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Rating:  18 reviews
Sales Rank: 25,003
Media: Hardcover
Edition: 1
Pages: 240
Number Of Items: 1
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.6
Dimensions (in): 9.3 x 6.4 x 1
ISBN: 0465013600
Dewey Decimal Number: 155.937
EAN: 9780465013609
ASIN: 0465013600
Publication Date: September 22, 2009
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
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Product Description
We tend to understand grief as a predictable five-stage process of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But in The Other Side of Sadness, George Bonanno shows that our conventional model discounts our capacity for resilience. In fact, he reveals that we are already hardwired to deal with our losses efficiently—not by graduating through static phases. Weaving in explorations of mourning rituals and the universal experiences of the death of a parent or child, Bonanno examines how our inborn emotions—anger and denial, but also relief and joy—help us deal effectively with loss. And grieving goes beyond mere sadness: it can deepen interpersonal connections and often involves positive experiences. In the end, mourning is not predictable, but incredibly sophisticated. Combining personal anecdotes and original research, The Other Side of Sadness is a must-read for those going through the death of a loved one, mental health professionals, and readers interested in neuroscience and positive psychology.
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Showing reviews 1-5 of 18
 The Other Side of Sadness What the New Science of Bereavement Tells Us About Life After Loss October 14, 2009
mariposa (San Rafael)
30 out of 35 found this review helpful
While reading "The Other Side of Sadness" I had many 'a ha' moments were the author's explanation helped congeal my incomplete ideas. My Father passed away three years ago and this book helped me to understand the process of loss. What surprised me was that 8 out of 10 of us are hard wired to recover from the loss of a close loved one. I feel prepared and better able to cope with another loss and also to understand what some one else may be going through.
What I found especially helpful was the explanation of the studies that supported his arguments interlaced with examples of his patients. The cumulative approach made it very easy to comprehend.
I do not read many books on psychology so for me this book not only dealt with grieving but gave me a greater understanding of some basic psychological concepts. Some of the knowledge I could apply to a friend going through grief from an unexpected divorce.
We do not seem to talk much about death in our society let alone from a personal perspective. The Other Side of Sadness allowed me to have an internal discussion and helped me to come to a greater peace on the loss of my Father.
I will send this book to friends who are dealing with grief.
A Thoughtful, Refreshing Take on Grief and Trauma October 13, 2009
Le Petit Poulet (New York City, NY)
19 out of 22 found this review helpful
This is a book I will give to anyone who suffers a loss. I picked up this book wondering what could yet another book on grief and trauma have to say. Well this one was completely different. First of all, I found it so reassuring. The author's tone is kind and yet authoritative. I felt immediately like I was in solid hands. And the message was also important. After reading this book, I stopped worrying so much about what happens to the survivors after someone dies. The message was uplifting--and unlike most books on grief, his thoughts are backed up by data/statistics he's collected over I think decades. I mean the title really says it: The new SCIENCE of bereavement, except that it's not a cold science book at all. The stories are moving and warm, but the science kept the book from being mushy and theoretical. I really felt like I could believe what he had to say, like, these are the facts. And the news is basically good.
A persuasive, informative, engaging book on a tough subject January 26, 2010
Joshua Mailman (New York, NY)
7 out of 7 found this review helpful
I really enjoyed reading this book, nearly every page of it. It was both comforting and invigorating. It changed my view of grieving, and in some ways altered my understanding of human nature. It also resonated with some of my own experiences.
As I started to get an idea of the theme of Bonanno's book I became a little concerned that it promotes callousness, but as I read on I noticed this was not all the case; the book delivers its hopeful message in the most humane and compassionate way--owing to both Bonanno's writing style and the autobiographical material he includes.
Another thing I like about the book is its pacing. A lot of general audience books these days say everything near the beginning and then reading to the end is just a chore. Not so with this book; surprising new elements spring up in the middle and end of the book that put an interesting spin on what occurs before.
I found it persuasive and satisfying how Bonanno identifies (mostly through his own empirical studies) how responses to loss vary greatly from person to person, often in a way that correlates with predictive factors. Resilience and grief following loss are not a one-size-fits-all. Furthermore, Bonanno explains how the specific responses to grief differ not just person to person but also from culture to culture (in the North America vs. in Asia, for instance).
Finally, I was impressed with how Bonanno doesn't just dismiss previous theories (such as Kubler-Ross) but rather explains what they do mean and how their implications were overextended. It puts the old and new theories together in context with each other.
I highly recommend this book, not just to the grieving, but to anyone curious about human resilience.
New ideas for curious readers January 27, 2010
Clear
6 out of 6 found this review helpful
This book really stands out against all the past literature on grief. It's not just theories about bereavement and coping with loss; instead Bonanno weaves in empirical research in a way that is easy to follow and interesting. If you are suffering a lot after a recent loss and looking for support, this may not be the best book for you. If you are curious to learn more how people cope with loss in different ways, you will like the book.
Wise and beautifully written October 19, 2009
Anthony Ong
17 out of 21 found this review helpful
This is a remarkable book. Like a good dance partner who neither leads nor follows but anticipates and trusts, George Bonanno has an uncanny talent for writing clearly about sophisticated and complex issues with a tone that is singularly authoritative and compassionate. Readers will find 12 well-written, satisfying chapters that virtually encircle extant perspectives on knowlege and thought concerning human loss and resilience.
Showing reviews 1-5 of 18
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