Lifetimes

This is a book about the rhythm of life and death for all creatures, for everything that is born. One of the best parts of the book is its emphasis on what a lifetime is, and how it is framed by birth and death, and that inbetween those "markers" is what is important. It explains that different creatures have different life spans, and that this aspect of nature is neither fair nor unfair. It simply is.

I do not restrict this book to times when a child is grieving,
I include it in our regular reading rotation, so that the children see death as a normal part of life experiences. Death is so emotionally charged, especially for the grown ups, that having a calm book is especially worthwhile. When a child is actually grieving balancing the more "intense" books with this soothing one, does wonders.


Lifetimes: Not ONLY about death   November 21, 2003
Jeff Haverlack (La Center, WA United States)
50 out of 50 found this review helpful

After losing my wife (33 years old) two years ago, this was one of the books that was recommended to me .... and I am glad I took the recommendation. This is a GREAT book for explaining the subject of lifetimes to children, especially in the 3-5 year old range.

What is great about this book and something I didn't realize at the time was that lifetimes didn't have to only related to death of people. EVERYTHING has a lifetime and it has helped my daughter in many ways. A couple months ago, when my daughter's balloon popped and she was very sad, she said "Dad, I guess my balloon's lifetime is over", and then she went to throw it away. She was sad but understood the concept that all things, living and unliving, have a lifetime. We still use the concepts today on a regular basis, and she still likes to read the book as well.

HIGHLY recommended, even for those children that haven't had to deal with true loss or death yet ... at least in my opinion.


A book about life that helps explain death   July 19, 2004
Allison D (Tucson, AZ United States)
40 out of 42 found this review helpful

I heard about this book and decided to take a look before I needed it. I know that eventually my child will start asking questions about death, and I'd like to know what resources are available. I was particularly drawn to this title because it can be tailored to a variety of religious belief systems. I disagree with a previous poster who stated that this book teaches that there is no afterlife. The way I read it, the book doesn't take a stand either way. Being "alive" on earth is not the same thing as "eternal life" in the religions I am familiar with. No religion I know of denies that earthly bodies are alive and then they die.

I like the fact that this book compares all types of organisms from plants to animals to people. The concept of a life span ties it all together. What is "in between" the beginning and ending of a life is living. I appreciate that this book emphasizes the in between, and therefore strikes a positive note.

I would caution against using this book as a regular picture book for toddlers and older preschoolers because it may actually introduce the idea of death before a child is able to comprehend the explanation. However, I think it's an excellent choice for a child who is asking about death or who has recently experienced the loss of a pet, friend, or relative.


A defining book.   January 4, 2004
J. Hazel (United States)
23 out of 23 found this review helpful

This book would be effective for grief therapy and for teaching about life cycles. It specifically answers the question: What is a lifetime?

My daughter, age 4, had a lot of questions about death. She was most especially interested in finding out when her "dying day" would be. This book seemed to help her understand that everyone's lifetime is special to them. I wanted her to understand that because someone else died it doesn't mean her death is imminent. A common fear among the young.

An exquisitely illustrated and plainly written book, it speaks clearly to the children about a complicated subject. I highly recommend it for all home and school libraries for ages three and up. It should be used as part of a comprehensive set of books on biological and familial concepts as it is not meant to answer all of a child's questions on life cycles, grief, death or dying.


How can you heal a grieving child's loss?   October 17, 1997
20 out of 21 found this review helpful

Lifetimes is a gently beautiful introduction to death and grief for young children. Ingpen and Mellonie show death as a natural part of the process of living for all creatures. They also affirm the reality and importance of death's sadness, thus opening the way to healing.

This book is among the most popular choices of staff and grieving families at the hospice where I work. Every child enjoys the book's soothing text and lovely pictures. Even parents whose children have not yet experienced a loss might want to go ahead and get this book to help their children begin to build an understanding of the cycle of life.

If your own heart is breaking, reading Lifetimes to a child will bring a little comfort to you, too.